Jo Anna’s BRAVE Story

My BRAVE story started when I was just a young girl. At five years old my father died suddenly of a brain aneurysm.  Some of my very first memories are of profound loss.  All of my life I have mourned my father who was not given the chance to raise me.  I often wonder who I would be or what my life would look like if he hadn’t died so young.  As an adult, my BRAVE story continues.  My husband and I are now mourning the loss of our children that we, ourselves, will never be able to watch grow. I take comfort that my father is with them until we all meet again.

All of my life I have mourned my father who was not given the chance to raise me.

My father, Mike Mleczko and I, shortly before his death, September 18, 1991 at the age of 32.

Our first child, Wesley, was stillborn on September 10, 2021.  The fight for our son’s life started at his 20-week anatomy scan. Here in Milwaukee, our team was uncertain of Wesley's diagnosis and sent us to Chicago where testing was more advanced. After a few trips to Chicago Wesley's condition was still unclear. With no definitive answer or plan, we decided it was time to move on and seek more help.  From Chicago, we moved on to Cincinnati Children's Hospital where he was finally diagnosed with CHAOS. As devastating as the diagnosis was, we finally had a plan of care set in motion! We were ready to fight.

 CHAOS, (Congenital High Airway Obstruction Syndrome) is a condition so rare, only 50 cases have been reported since 1989.  I found parents with CHAOS survivors and was filled with so much hope.  Alongside hope, there was so much fear, and so many unknowns. Fighting with everything we had, life quickly became filled with travel, appointments, scans, tests, and sleepless nights. Everything I did was for him, with all my might. It wasn't until a return trip to Cincinnati that our fight came to an end. Wesley's heart stopped beating.

 There are no words to describe the moments that followed and what was yet to come.  Decisions we didn't want to be making had to be made. We drove seven hours back to Milwaukee to deliver Wesley near our support system and local funeral homes.  We were admitted to labor and delivery the following morning. The day was long, and the saddest of my life.  It wasn't until 1 am that my water broke. Our precious son was delivered to my arms at 2:17 am.  Wesley showed me a love I hadn't known existed. I will be loving him, missing him, and yearning for him all the days of my life.

Wesley Thomas Walsh

Stillborn, September 10, 2021

I will be loving him, missing him, and yearning for him all the days of my life.

After Wesley passed away I felt my purpose was stripped from me. For so long everything I did was for him. My world was devoted to fighting for him and caring for him every second of every day. Then he was gone. I was left with a postpartum body, phantom kicks, and engorged breasts without my baby to feed and hold.  I questioned and sometimes still question, why him? Why me? Why did other babies live and mine had to die? There were constant cruel reminders that my son, my purpose was gone.  After time, I see now that my purpose is not gone. Wes is my greatest purpose, it just looks a little different.

While grieving the loss of Wes, my husband and I went on to have three miscarriages.  Pregnancy after loss/multiple losses is full of so many complex emotions. It truly takes so much bravery and courage to open yourself back up to what is ultimately unknown. We had a miscarriage, a missed miscarriage, and a blighted ovum. Not one miscarriage looks the same, and all are indescribably earth-shattering. Going forward, it's hard to imagine a positive outcome, as loss is all we know. It's also hard to imagine giving up on having a child here on Earth.  We do not know how the rest of our story will go, but we do know that we are BRAVE.

Mom, Dad, and Wesley

Our only family photo.

The Buffalo is our symbol for Wes. Buffalo run toward storms instead of away, fighting them head-on. This is how we fought our son's CHAOS and all the storms that followed. I think it is BRAVE to share our stories, BRAVE to hope, BRAVE to be vulnerable, and BRAVE to fight life’s storms.

I am BRAVE because…

I will continue to share my story, have hope, be vulnerable, and charge life’s storms head on.

Wesley’s Mama, Jo Anna Walsh

@buffalo.mamas